Becoming A Vessel Of Honor Rebecca Brown

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he did not know anyone who would understand. Sam strug gled alone with the homosexual urges. He did not par ticipate in any homosexual act of any kind. The more he struggled to put the urges and desires out of his mind, the worse they seemed to get. I At the age of fifteen, Sam entered a Christian high school. The homosexual desires grew steadily in intensity such that Sam fell into a deep depression over the problem which I] seemed to have no solution. His grades began to suffer as he had always made very high grades. By the end of his first year in high school, Sam was so depressed that he tried to commit suicide by taking a large overdose of pills. He was rushed to the hospital unconscious, but his life was saved. Sam went to the pastor of his church for counseling, but could not bring himself to tell the pastor his true problem. The whole suicide attempt was passed off as a reaction to the stress of a new school and the first year of high school. ' When Sam entered his second year, he started drinking al cohol to try to cope with his depression. As the alcohol took away Sam’s inhibitions, he began to experiment with homosexual contacts. He hated what he was doing and knew it was wrong, but could not stop himself. His life became an endless cycle of repentance and crying out to God to help him, then depression because no help came, then drinking ; to cope with the depression, then homosexual experiences and back to guilt and repentance. Over and over the cycle continued throughout his last three years at high school. Sam noticed that immediately after his first physical homosexual encounter, he suddenly had a violent temper and had trouble controlling blind rages. Sam had never had a problem with a violent temper before. He found that thoughts of murdering someone filled his mind much of the time. This was something Sam had never experienced

Chapter 12 Deliverance